3 oz. of misery

i think, for my mind depiction's sake, a scale is needed for yesterday. well, actually, fuck that, i uploaded it and it was inexplicably small. and yes, i busted out some mad italics. what's that, getting too slanted in here? then suck on this one, bold joins the party.

well, an interesting day to say the very least. ups and downs, but hey, thus is life anyway, right?. i just wish that yesterday was a day where the ups outweighed the downs. it's always a rugged dose of reality that hits me in the face like a brick, and now leaves me in this unsettled/ pensive mood. the pensive part makes me a bit curious, but maybe my mind deems it solely for the sake of self-reflection. i guess i skipped the depression phase when i realize how much things are beyond my control, although deny i cannot, i'm upset. at least that concept is built into my mind to not get carried away with something i can do so little about.

if i was a mixed drink right now, instructions would be as follows:

3 oz. misery
1 oz. powerless / discouraged
1/2 oz. loneliness
1/2 oz. contentedness
1/8 oz. hope

throw the 1/2 oz. contentedness out the window, then mix it well, then shake it, strain it and serve, preferably in a paper cup. make sure that the cup is drained wholely, because hope tends to sink to the bottom of the cup. that hope adds additional vital flavor, so it's not to be ignored either.

this is a case where my usual slight optimism has to be overridden for me to be soundly sane. i'm going to assume the worst in its entirety, game over. in this case, i really don't know how to go about things or what to say.