21.9.10

coated basil

tuesdays aren't really the day that i find myself dreading. actually, it's one of the more relaxing days i feel, only to fall below friday and the weekend. the torturous monday is out of the way and the raw and exposed wednesday, known for its productivity, has yet to come. a three hour block of classes is the only thing that could taint my good mood, but my econometrics class is probably the most enjoyable class that i have. it's strange, i find the hour and half flying before like i've yet to witness. i'm finally in high enough level classes that the subject matter envelopes me. i'm so interested, i make sure my notes are fucking pristine. when i write formulas in that i class, i make sure that they're god damned flawless.

i'm fortunate enough to have a wonderful girl gracing my life. i get to enjoy her company pretty often. she provides the perfect relief from classes and stress that i desire so badly. a girl who's so much fun just to be around, i'm lucky that i found someone like her. i guess with everything good there's a worry in the back of one's mind. there was a little instance where our relationship hit a rocky road (unfortunately not like the ice cream). it was just trivial bickering, but things we're pretty close to coming to a close at one point. we ended up solving those problems and taking care of what we needed to make sure that we were back on track.

it sounds kind of cruel, but sometimes i worry that she'll do something harsh to me. without going too in-depth, there have been a few times where my image was the target. one time, a mockery, the other, my being. it is call for alarm and taking drastic action? no, simply a factor to keep in the back of my mind. i guess different individuals have different limitations. personally, of all people, i could never mock the one that i'm involved with like that, it's just something i can't do. in the back of my head, the voice just says no no no. maybe in one of her previous relationships the guy did something like that to her. or maybe it's just how she was raised. a different of opinion i guess. one sees it as a standard tactic while one sees it as an honorless stab in the back. in all of my days of a relationship, i've never witnessed anyone go out their way so much just to mock or berate. different strokes for different folks i guess. if it happened twice already, maybe it'll happen a third time. it almost can be likened to very slow healing open wound. could it get infected eventually if the cut goes too deep? i guess that's just the surfacing of the basic human fear of being hurt.

that book idea, it really might pull through. okay, that's me just boosting my optimism for the whole spiel. twenty more minutes of the mundane lab and i get to shove some delicious food in my facehole. veggie straws call, wiedersehen.

random note #5: chocolate-covered basil is... strangely scrumptious.

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