lady phoenix

so i write on a strange note. it's 4:33 right now and both my eyes and body are being called for sleep. i resist for a few reasons.

it wasn't until a few days ago that this really settled into my mind. my relationship took a turn for the worse and ended a few weeks ago. it was a very difficult time for the both of us, but it ended up being for the better. fun and cute turned into stress and frustration unfortunately. it was a turn that i honestly didn't see coming from the summer, but it just happens sometimes. the summer didn't seem like a predictor of what was to come. maybe it was the fact that our relationship had gotten past the 'honeymoon period' of the newness and fresh feel of the relationship. it might have been the fact we couldn't handle the plateau and beyond. either way, it ended, even though she's a great girl. it's tough that it didn't work out for us in the end, but what was done had to be done.

now to my current thoughts. while i chug on through adjusting to the cold nights of being single again, i find something else consuming my mind.

i know that i'm not going to be wanting a relationship for awhile, but i can't help but worry. i'll delve into it in my next post. for the time being, it's too early in the morning and i've done the usual habit of typing slowly on this over a span of hours. in this case it's easily been 3 hours since i actually started this post and it's only amounted to a paragraph or two. bleh, i need to doddle less.

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